Lifelessons

Really to change yourself is the most challenging task.

First: admit that change is needed (it is true).

Second: admit honestly to yourself why you want to change.

Third: change

Fourth: It is OK not to be perfect

Live your own life. Say thank you to good intentions of everyone arround to make you like rest of the world AND rediscover for yourself your true self. Image comes up from moovie with Julia Roberts, when she was testing differently cooked eggs in the morning to check which she trully likes most.

For me it means a significant change: To accept myself as I am. To like my apperiance. To like my life, my family. Not to try fix it as “my parents” or “others” want or like.

Try to figure for yourself “Here and now”. It includes: what you feel (your body)- Ask yourself where I am tence or stiff… Why is that? What is happening right now to make my body feel that way? Try to relex that part of your body. Breeth deeply.

Where am I now? What I hear? What I smell? What I taste? What I feel emotionally now?

Being fully here and now you create your future!

WHen you are totally confused with your life GET some help. Friend, doctor, straner…. Another person will mirror what you say and it will help you help your self.

Rule within a rule: You are responcible for yourself. Nobody can resolve your problems. Just you.

We play in our life 3 roles: victim, rescuer, persecuter. My dominant role is of a victim. At the same time I think I am a rescuer for my husband, and persecuter for my parents. I found out that in every triangle there is somebody interested in this set aside from us. In the triangle with my parents and husband, my parents get my full attention, and fulfill their needs. In my set up with husband and boss, boss is happy to have me dependent on him, he is not interested in me getting out of the role of a victim. Observe yourself and others. Stop playing this drama. How? Get out of the tiangle. Get out.

You create something you think is great, you expect one reaction and you get oposite reaction. Is it becuase you expected a reaction and did not enjoy the process of creation by itself.  Interestingly “wrong’ reaction did not upset me it surprised me.  Did I change my mind about greatness of what I have created? Not for a minute! I felt that I jumped futher than others are. They were just not ready  to see from my bird view what I managed to see.  I have created it for them but for them. I wanted to do something in return for all my years of service. May be that what made them pissed of. They felt it:  I am saying good buy.

My 4 year old boy said: There is nothing incidental in this life. I wounder was he reminding me of what I forgot or he was just sharing his truth with me?

When you realise truth about your life: you can not pay back the bank loan, your husband is an abusive alcoholic, and that you are responcible for creating this reality for yourself surprisingly you feel how  you reliease all tention from your back, it becomes easier to breath in and out. Why? You have admitted it . Now it is the metter of you indidivudal choice what to do with it. And your mind shows you aside this truth there is much more to this. It has been great to make a choice like that, and to have husband who makes you change, become more powerful and ….change

When a tall big man looks at you from the top with angry drunk look, and you are looking at him  calmly, confidently and loving him. He is not sceary anymore!!!!!

There are specific facts, and there are million interpratations of those facts. Why we can not stop and first define specific fact and than …. do not interpret it. Our interpratations create emotional reacton when in reallity that specific fact by itself does not have any emotion.